Here, again.

There's a stirring deep within me,

could it be my time has come-

When I'll see my gracious Savior,

face-to-face when all is done?

Is that His voice I am hearing,

"Come away my precious one!"

Is He calling me?

Is He Calling me?

I close my eyes, the song ringing in my ears. When I open them I am in the dark - sitting on a hard, smooth rock, overlooking a valley: I'm at the baptistery. The leaves rustle in the cool, night breeze. The crickets sing their praises, too, and it is the most beautiful sound in the world. I look up at the stars, and see a comet - as if God is saying, "Well done, my good and faithful servant." The crisp air is so refreshing. Why, God? Why do we have to leave this place? You've given the most beautiful friends here, the most beautiful Christian family - I could not ask for more.. yet I have to leave? This moment here is not sufficient. I want more. I close my eyes, and again ask, "Why?"

I open my eyes and I am sitting on a hard, smooth wooden chair. The room is warm, and the computer screen stares back at me. A friend sends an instant message, worried about this thing and that thing. I help him and in the meantime he is helping me just as much. This is why, God. The places that I've been, the things that I've done, the praise that I've given, the Word that I've learned.. All in preparation for this moment and so many more to come. God is sufficient - here, there, everywhere. I am Christian. I asked God why, and He answers - each time humbles me more than the last. There is a world beyond the baptistery, beyond a camp ground. One can't save a soul that isn't lost - that's why we leave and go back to the rest of the world. To save the rest of the world.

Is He calling me?

You bet He is.

2 Peter 1:3-11

3His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. 4Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption in the world caused by evil desires.

5For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; 6and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; 7and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love. 8For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. 9But if anyone does not have them, he is nearsighted and blind, and has forgotten that he has been cleansed from his past sins.

10Therefore, my brothers, be all the more eager to make your calling and election sure. For if you do these things, you will never fall, 11and you will receive a rich welcome into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

Let your angels win.

Psalm 18:2
The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer;
my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge.
He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.



I was in love.
Oh man, I was in love!

This guy was really something else - he loved my family; he made me laugh constantly; he cared about being a Christian and our spiritual walks. He was everything I ever wanted and more.
It felt like it was too good to be true, and ultimately it was.

To this day, I am not sure where everything went wrong. I don't know what I did or what he did, because I think I really tried to fix whatever was the matter. I just know that in one minute, in one bad decision, everything changed. If there were one thing that I regret, it would be losing this person.

For the next two and a half months, I mourned. My heart broke every single day because I knew I was waking up to another day without having my best friend. Finally, I figured out that nothing would change. I can still be nice, I can still be courteous and friendly, but no matter what we would never be what we used to be. Really it didn't matter to me if we dated or not. I could care less if that is what ended up happening or not happening. I just missed my friend. I just wanted my friend back.

Just as I told myself not to worry anymore, something happened. Probably the hardest thing I have ever had to do did not have to deal with academics, athletics, or anything in between: it was the moment I finally had the opportunity to see him again. I almost didn't go because I didn't want to make HIM feel uncomfortable or make HIM feel like he was put under any pressure. HIM! HIM! HIM! I finally decided to go and told myself that I wasn't going to let it get to me, but that was just a lie. It did bother me. Like I said- I can live just fine without dating him, I just want my friend back. The heartbreak I use to feel came rushing back. I was petrified to approach him. I froze if he started to look in my direction. I did not know what to do because I was so scared that he didn't want to even associate with me.

Well, I made it through the night with the help of some very beautiful, amazing friends of mine.

Sitting here and reflecting, I am dumbfounded because the solution is so simple. If I put even HALF of the love that I have had for this guy towards CHRIST, I would have been so much better off this whole time! Demons fought my angels and the demons won every time; had I not been so consumed in self-pity, there is so much I could have accomplished for God rather than myself. Nothing can be accomplished through misery. Something Dr.Steven Bonner said recently struck a nerve. In a nutshell he said forget the physical, stick with the spiritual! Um.. can I get an AMEN!?!?! Seriously! How many times do we have to tell others & be told that "this world is not my home/I'm just passing through?" Stop letting those STUPID demons get the best of you because without Christ as your shield, it is ALWAYS going to be a losing fight!

God is going to protect. PERIOD.
What more assurance do you need?

I have no doubt that I am always going to love this guy. He has been a part of me for the better half of my life, and for that I am so grateful. But all in all.. this is what it comes down to:

Life is not about a boy.
Life is not about a girl.
It is not about jewelry,
clothes, the style of your hair.
It is not about the nail-polish on your toes
or the rings on your fingers.
Life is about God.
Life was creating BY God.
BY God, FOR God, to LIVE BY God.

I hope you all feel what I have felt in some shape, way or form. The misery is gut wrenching, but the outcome is awesome, if you let it. I want you to know how it feel to lose and to gain. I want you to be blessed by whatever happens, even if finding happiness or contentment means waiting a few weeks, months or years. Just don't forget - it is there. It is in God. You will be uplifted. You will feel restored. You can do it, no matter what your demons try to whisper in your ear. Don't give Satan the upper hand in making your life full of turmoil. Let your angels WIN so that you can be so captivated by God's love that you know His is all you need!



1 Corinthians 13:6
Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices in truth.


2 Samuel 22:29
You are my lamp, O Lord; the Lord turns my darkness into light.

A Christian Guy.

In light of a few recent things going on in my life, I became more aware of what I want in a guy. This was written more for my benefit; but after I got to thinking about it.. it might help a few people out there - guys & girls. Basically: choose what you want in your opposite, and stick to it.




1) Set your standards and lower them for no one. Once you do, you will never go back.

2) Don't be afraid to WAIT for him to come to you. While you wait: pray, pray, PRAY!

3) Trust in God's timing.

4) If he truly believes you are worth being with, he will come to you.
If he doesn't, don't worry: God has someone better in store.

5) If he's had a rough past that he now leaves behind ("The past behind me/The cross before me") and asks for forgiveness - then forgive, whether you desire to be with him or not.

6) God will bring to you someone who he knows will bless you in the long run. When you think that someone has come along, pray continuously for God's will.



What I expect:
- Respect for my family.
- Personable.
- Says: beautiful, not hot; precious, not sexy.
- Loves: life, laughing, knowing God, me, everyone around - UNCONDITIONALLY!
- Visits, not calls. Calls, not texts.
- Understands: forgiveness; God's grace.
- Not afraid of: commitment; abstinence.
- Does not: smoke, cuss, use the phrase "Oh my God!!" unless they are talking about how amazing He is!!
- Desires to grow & help me grow spiritually.
- Has struggles, but isn't afraid to face them.
- Will let me in, so I can let him in.
- Comprehends that everyone makes mistakes, but all can reach Christ through their faults.




With all that being said, it doesn't necessarily mean I am looking for any kind of relationship. Whatever happens, happens; what is meant to be is meant to be, and there is no denying that God is going to be in control of every aspect.

The old low & the new high.

The old low & the new high.
Current mood: amused

Romans 1:16-17

¹⁶I am not ashamed of the gospel, because it is the power of God for the salvation of everyone who believes: first for the Jew, then for the Gentile. ¹⁷For in the gospel a righteousness from God is revealed, a righteousness that is by faith from first to last, just as it is written: "The righteous will live by faith."

Many of you do not know this, but I was baptized last summer by my best friend. In that year, it has been the closest to God I have ever been - it is also the farthest away that I have ever been. I thought about it recently, and what have I got to show for it? Being baptized is not just about getting dunked in water & having a clean-conscience. No.

It is a transformation. It is giving up the world, and taking up the cross. It is a proclamation that GOD is the only God in life, not the material idols that the world clings to. The time is now. Actually.. the time was a year ago.

I know that I have said some stuff like this before, about how I need to change for the better and blah blah blah. But honestly - show the world what you believe in, the way I am going to now. I got consumed in the earth instead of the heavens for a while, but this is the final straw.

Don't get me wrong - this isn't because of some "spiritual high" or whatever from being at church camp for a week, however amazing/uplifting that it was. I feel the same as I did before; but something has gotten in to me that is telling me that it is now or never and I don't want it to be the never.

Trials are coming my way. No.. they aren't coming - they are already here... and the only way to face them is by kicking the devil in the butt with the good book and saying, "I don't think so buddy, go find yourself some other unbeliever because it is not going to be me! Not today & not ever!"

Oh yeah.

Its like that.

God is waiting for you.

So why don't you wait ON him?

Be his servant.

Do not be ashamed.

Deuteronomy 31:6
Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you."

Watch&Listen:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WDgSxO2Sac8

Like your dreams were meant to fly
Like a bird up in the sky
Just like heaven's somewhere up above clouds
I was made to raise my voice lift my hands up and rejoice
Just like Jesus, they couldn't keep him down

Low

Like the way your mama felt
The very first time you were held
The way your daddy still looks at your mama now
Ain't that the way that love should be?
Gets you high, makes you believe
There's nothing in this world can get us down

Low

I'm gonna roll this stone away
Live my life my way
And stand up on my faith
Just like the sun rises everyday
The tide is gonna change
You can't keep me low

When my worries seem too big
I'm gonna dance like David did
Cause hallelujah I am glory bound
No I won't be afraid
When trouble gets in my face
I'll turn my back and stomp that devil down

Low

Oh, I'm gonna roll this stone away
Live my life my way
And stand up on my faith
Just like the sun rises everyday
The tide is gonna change
You can't keep me low

I won't let dreams get buried
Even when I'm feeling down
I won't linger in the darkness
I'll be walking out

I'm gonna roll this stone away
Let the light shine on my face
And stand up on my faith
Just like the sun rises everyday
The tide is gonna change
You can't keep me low

-Sara Evans

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
¹⁶Be joyful always; ¹⁷pray continually; ¹⁸give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.

Me, oh my.

Welp, I don't know what there is to say! My head is in about thirty places at once and I don't quite know how to stop it from buzzing. Madness.

New favorite quote:

If this was meant to be, fate and I have some talking to do!
-Stacey London, What Not to Wear.

I wish I knew what I wanted with life.
I really do.
Nothing - NOT A SINGLE THING - has turned into anything, not one little inkling, that I could have possibly imagined for my life. UGGGGGH!

Not much to say, so I guess I'll stop ranting.

Peace&Love.

Just like Guinevere.

I've got a bumper like a billboard
Covered in stickers of my favorit band
I've got a handful of records that I turn to
When I needs to land
I'm a saturday night parade through the streets
That all eyes some to see except him.

I carry memories around like souvenirs down in my pockets
I should have let some go by now but can't seem to drop it
Forgiveness ain't nothing but a lifeless tire on the shoulder of my soul
That never rolls

For as much as I stumble I'm runnin'
For as much as I run I'm still here
Always hoping to find something quicker than heaven
To make the damage of my past days disappear
Just like Guinevere
Just like Guinevere

I don't hold onto nothin' new for very long
Yeah I writes him in as just one more tale
and then he's gone
'Cause I once fell hard 'cause I dropped my guard
And no one gets to stay it's just too late

For as much as I stumble I'm runnin'
For as much as I run I'm still here
Always hoping to find something quicker than heaven
To make the damage of my days disappear
Just like Guinevere
Just like Guinevere

For as much as I stumble I'm runnin'
For as much as I runs I'm still here..

For as much as I stumble I'm runnin'
For as much as I run I'm still here
Always hoping to find something quicker than heaven
To make the damage of my days disappear
Just like Guinevere
Just like Guinevere

Tell me "lean into me, Guinevere;
Be mine tonight Guinevere."

Always something new.

It is amazing to me how much you miss someone at the most random moments..
Laying in bed;
Watching television;
Swimming;
Signing a paper;
Getting a pedicure;
Just going throughout the every-day routine when none of those things even remotely pertain to the person you miss.
Somehow you manage to put on a front - no one even knows, and you like it that way. Some things are better left unsaid.
But what if you really want to let it out? What if you want to scream it at the top of your lungs, so everyone on knows, ESPECIALLY the one you can't get your mind off of?
Then what?

Maybe you should just stop.
Get over it. Get over yourself.
Nothing is going to happen;
And it is obvious.

Just get over it.


Now replace every "you" with "I" and I think you will get the picture.

Rachelle's Senior Pictures

This is my bestie, Rachelle, and I had the privilege of getting to take some of her senior portraits. These are just a few of many. Hope you all enjoy:)
www.myspace.com/plainsightphotography

I know this hurts.

.But I also know that you, Lord, are in control.

Please help me.
I know you can.
I know you will.

The Lord is my shephard; I shall not be in want.

My Life Now.

My life now is not what I expected it to be if I had looked to the future when I was a senior in high school.

Then I thought I would be in Ventura, California at Brooks Institute of Photography studying to be a Photojournalist for National Geographic or TIME magazines. I figured I would be single (and loving it), have cute, beachy, sun-kissed friends and I would have the worlds best tan while I photographed the California Novembers in all their glory.
Now, I have studied three semesters at Lubbock Christian University in the windiest town in Texas. The first time for Communications. The second for Family Studies. I've technically dropped out once then come back. I've had three semi-serious relationships in right around two years and still do not know what I want from life.
All before turning 21.

The only thing that turned out how I expected is being single.
I can't say that I complain about anything, though. Life is just different. Honestly, I understand that my plans aren't necessarily God's plans.. and God's plan trumps mine any day!
Whatever happens will happen for the glory of God.
Who am I to try to "fix" what he knows is best for me?

No way.

Rubbing salt in my wounds
Like it don't hurt, like it don't hurt me
Your sweet/bitter love songs
That seduce me with a sinister beat

I'm bringing out the worst in you
It was never my intention to
That was just unfair to do
Salt in my wounds
Getting burned up
With the negative heat

How can I stay mad with you?
When I'm so in love with you

I don't know what we argue about
When all we do is scream and shout
I still believe in our love right now
And its gonna work out some how
You and me we got common ground
I'm not giving up, no

Are you looking for a way out?
Are you looking for an exit?
It seems like all the fuss you're making
Is a sign that you're not quite sure

Well, I don't recommend you to
Coz what we got's to good to lose
And I can tell you know that too
Or is it just aggravation
You're picking on me
You're rubbing salt in my wounds

How can I stay mad with you?
When I'm so in love with you

I don't know what we argue about
When all we do is scream and shout
I still believe in our love right now
And its gonna work out some work
You and me we got common ground
I'm not giving up, no

I don't know what we argue about
When all we do is scream and shout
I still believe in our love right now
And its gonna work out some work
You and me we got common ground
I'm not giving up, no

Maybe just a kind word now and then
Could turn it around and make us a happy end
But if this is it and the moment is gone
Well then I guess I must have just got it wrong

Wise as it sounds it just doesn't make sense
And as long as it takes I'm gonna keep on trying
Coz I'm not giving up on us
I'm not giving up, no

How can I stay mad with you?
I'm not giving up, no
When I'm so in love with you

I don't know what we argue about
When all we do is scream and shout
I still believe in our love right now
And its gonna work out some work
You and me we got common ground
I'm not giving up, no

No way, no way
I'm not giving up, no
No way, no way
I'm not giving up, no

Its the little things that count..

From the protection and entertainment (ha!) my siblings have graced me with:

to the laughs I share with the friends I hold nearest to my heart:

I finally understand how it feels to just love the little things.

Kind of makes you feel blessed, eh?

Word on the street is..

4 I said, "O LORD, have mercy on me;
heal me, for I have sinned against you."

5 My enemies say of me in malice,
"When will he die and his name perish?"

6 Whenever one comes to see me,
he speaks falsely, while his heart gathers slander;
then he goes out and spreads it abroad.

7 All my enemies whisper together against me;
they imagine the worst for me, saying,

8 "A vile disease has beset him;
he will never get up from the place where he lies."

9 Even my close friend, whom I trusted,
he who shared my bread,
has lifted up his heel against me.

10 But you, O LORD, have mercy on me;
raise me up, that I may repay them.
Psalm41: 4-10




"Love your neighbor as yourself." (Galatians 5:14)



Matthew 23:28 (New International Version)
28In the same way, on the outside you appear to people as righteous but on the inside you are full of hypocrisy and wickedness.

Romans 1:29 (New International Version)
29They have become filled with every kind of wickedness, evil, greed and depravity. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit and malice. They are gossips,


1 John 2:9 (New International Version)
9Anyone who claims to be in the light but hates his brother is still in the darkness.


Proverbs 11:13 (New International Version)
13 A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy man keeps a secret.




Ignore this post-its for a future devo and I needed somewhere to store my notes! Love!

Do not be afraid; just believe.

I believe being God-fearing is good.
However, it is another thing to be afraid of God.
They sound one in the same but what I mean is, we can not go on being afraid of what he wants.

Many look at the Word of God (a.k.a., the bible) as a strict guidelines. Make you wrong step and you are stepping into the firey gates! DOOOOMED for all eternity! When in actuality, it is the God's game plan, really. Not to say that I don't think they are strict guidelines; but instead of stepping into hell with one wrong move, I see it as a way to help you step in the right direction. Everything in life takes practice, experience, endurance. The same thing goes for your christian walk. PRACTICE what you preach (ex: don't tell others they are wrong when you are doing the same thing [Mat. 7:3 "Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?"]). Gain EXPERIENCE through ACTIONS- don't be afraid to go out and stand up for Christ, sacrifice yourself for him, the way He did for you (Mat. 10:19-20 "Do not worry about what to say or how to say it. At that time you will be given what to say, for it will not be you speaking, but the spirit of your father speaking through you.")! Even when all else fails, have ENDURANCE! You may be persecuted but God won't let you go through anything you can't handle, no evil will touch you that he knows you can't bear (John 16:33 "I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.")!

All in all, don't be afraid of God's word. He will equip you with everything you need to understand it and spread the gospel.

I started writing this, but I didn't know where it would end up. Hopefully you got something out of this. I know it pertains to me just as much as anybody else. Enjoy!

No real reason for the pics on here today; just chose a few that I took last year. Click on them and they will be larger (as well as the other pics from previous posts). Good night!

Mark 5:36
Do not be afraid; just believe.